Hitchcock Slang

I've been reading Shirley MacLaine's autobiography this week, and it had this snippet in it that I found amusing. Early,  early in her career she was in an Alfred Hitchcock movie called, The Trouble with Harry, and she illustrates how confusing the movie set lingo can be for a beginner. 

     The crew on the set was in full cry.

     "Tilt the broad down a little."

     "And make her two points hotter."

     "Okay. Now screw her."

     "Hit your mark, schmuck, whaddaya think this is, a ball park?"

     "The light's gettin' yella--you want I should eighty-six the store and call it lunch for keeps?"

     

     Alfred Hitchcock came waddling toward me, eyes twinkling, his roly-poly stomach well out in the lead.

     "Pleasant period following death," he said.

     "Pardon?"

     "Genuine chopper, old girl, genuine chopper."

     "Excuse me?"

     "And after your first line--dog's feet."

     When I finally had it all translated, it turned out that the lighting crew had said:

     Tilt the big light down a little.

     And make it brighter by two points on the light meter.

     Okay. Now secure it.

     Get in your light, you silly actor, we've only got so much equipment.

     You're taking too long, going too slow. You want me to fire all of you so you'll be out of work for good?

     

     And then Hitchcock had told me in his own version of cockney rhyming slang:

     Good mourning/morning (Pleasant period following death)

     Real-axe/relax (Genuine chopper)

     And after your first line, paws/pause (Dog's feet)

Sorry to disappoint

Well, life threw me a curve-ball last month, and although I hate to disappoint (anyone. ever.) I am announcing that Jackie Jean's Hair Salon will not be coming into existence any time soon.

On September 29th, I got fired from my job at Regis. It came as a huge shock (to put it lightly) to be fired from the place I had worked for exactly 7 years. I can completely understand why Regis felt the need to fire me, but it was still a slap in the face (too put it less lightly). Basically, Regis knew that I was planning on moving on soon, and their job was to make it as difficult as possible for me to take any of my clients with me when I did. So I went in to work on Saturday around 1pm, and got told I was being "let go" and that I needed to turn in my key at the end of the night at about 1:07pm. I was also given the advice that I should not "make it weird" at work that day. Basically, they wanted me to pretend nothing was wrong and not make a scene with my coworkers or clients around. Whatever. I actually held back my tears pretty well. And I didn't cause a scene. I did the exact opposite. At the end of the night, as I was collecting all of my things to take home, I made sure I cleaned out my station until it was spotless. I put all of the Regis product back where it belonged, I didn't make the rookie mistake of forgetting to take my license out of the frame on the wall. I did the nightly close-out jobs with exactness. I even folded towels that I was never going to use. In short, I made absolutely sure that my manager and coworkers had nothing to hold against me after I was gone.

I don't really know why this was so important to me, but it was. I still believe I was one of the best employees that ever worked at that salon. I can count the number of times I was late to work on one hand, and I always took out the trash and swept the floors like I was supposed to. I know Regis won't fall apart without me; it will not cease to operate. But a small part of me hopes it will...just a little bit. At any rate, I learned that anyone can get fired from a job. Even me. Loyalty is not a word that matters in corporate America.

I took about a week to find a new salon to work at, and I started taking clients there last Tuesday. I have since been overwhelmed at how much love and support I felt in this whole process. From family, friends and especially clients. I mean, I completely expect my family and friends to be there for me, but it was amazing to realize just how much my clients have become my friends over these past few years. Still, every time one of them calls me to set up an appointment, I feel deep gratitude that they care enough to follow me. Change is a hard thing for most people. We get set in our routines and our habits. And most of these people have been getting their hair cut and colored at Regis for so long, that it amazes me that they are willing to make a change like this...just for me.

The salon I work at now is a "booth rent" salon. I pay a monthly fee to rent a space there, and essentially have my own business. I buy all my own supplies and set my own schedule. I can say yes or no to whomever or whatever I want. I haven't had freedom like this in...well...8 years. And it feels fantastic. Obviously there is a lot more responsibility on my shoulders now, but I find it fun. Mostly.

So, I have decided that instead of scrambling to open Jackie Jean's, I am content for now to be where I am. I think it would have been too much, too soon to borrow money and get it remodeled by January. With this new booth renting set-up, I will hopefully be able to save money faster than I was at Regis (where they took a 55% cut) and when I feel ready I will open my own place. I've prayed about this a lot. And I definitely feel that I've been directed to where I am and feel very peaceful about my decision to stay at Haven longer than I originally anticipated.

So, there is your update!  Thanks for your support and encouragement!
I hope I haven't disappointed. ;)

Musical Memories

As I drove to work today, a song (I can't actually remember which one) came on the radio, and got me thinking about how many songs remind me of people in my life. Many songs remind me of very specific instances, and some remind me of "periods" in my life as well...but here is a list of songs (in no particular order, and in no way comprehensive; I don't think I could make a comprehensive list if I tried) that remind me of specific people. Enjoy.

Coldplay Fix You reminds me of Chris Nowling; I was living in Miller apts, and Chris made a mix cd (yes that statement makes me feel old) for my roommate Summer that had this song on it. That was the first time I heard it...and I thought it was completely boring. But about a week later I saw the music video and fell in love with the simplicity that Coldplay had captured with this song. This turned out to be one of many times that someone with much better taste in music was so right about a song...and I came around eventually.

Coldplay Yellow reminds me of Matt and Carl Hoiland, and Ryan Whitaker; the second date I ever went on was with Ryan. We went to a basement pizza place in downtown Portland where Of Pawn's Design was playing a gig. They covered this song, and I thought Matt's voice was perfect for it. I'm pretty sure this was the first time I had heard that song...so I confused OPD and Coldplay for a little while after that.

The Who You Better You Bet, and Night Ranger Sister Christian remind me of Cole Perry; the first time I ever drove to Provo from Portland was with Cole in a little honda accord we were delivering to my sister, Freyja. On the way we listened to a lot of music, and I listened to a lot of Cole talking about music...and other things I'm sure. All-in-all it wasn't a bad road trip. It felt cool to be out of the road without any "grown-up's" and to be entrusted with such a responsibility. 

Steve Miller Band The Joker reminds me of Skyler Simnitt; I was called to the Stake Dance committee for all four years of my youth dance era, and I served alongside Skyler during most of this time. We had music meetings every so often at Bro. McGary's house, where we all brought new songs we thought we should have on our dance playlist. Skyler really wanted The Joker to make it on the list, but Bro. Andrew Randall had beef with the line, "I'm a joker, I'm a smoker, I'm a midnight toker", saying it probably wasn't good to include drug references in youth church dance music. Skyler tried his best to persuade Bro. Randall that what the line really said was, "I'm a midnight talker", stating that obviously this young man just liked talking on the telephone late at night. It was a good effort, but Bro. Randall held his ground.

Oasis Wonderwall reminds me of Thorn Simnitt; I think he sang this one time for a school cd or something like that.

Charlie Daniels Band The Devil Came Back to Georgia reminds me of Thorn Simnitt and MJ Wilson; the two of them, plus Skyler and a hot bass guitar player name Jake, all played this one for our high school cd. It was fantastic. I still like it better than the original.

Green Day Basket Case reminds me of Max Sinnitt; Haley told me one time that Max misunderstood the line, "sometimes my mind plays tricks on me," to be, "sometimes my mom plays tricks on me." I still think that concept is hilarious. Mom's can be very sneaky though...

Outkast Roses, and Celine Dion The Power of Love remind me of my Beauty School Friends; Gina, April and Chelsea had even made up a dance with hand motions to Roses. I can still remember exactly how it went 8 years later. The word "sh*t" was motioned by putting your fingers to your lips and just saying "shhhh". Clever, right? And when we would go out on break to get lunch, we'd blare Celine Dion and sing it to the car directly next to us at any stoplight we came to. I wonder what that one motorcyclist thought when a bunch of beauty school babes serenaded him so brazenly?

Iron and Wine The Creek Drank the Cradle album reminds me of Darrin M.; Darrin was the first home teacher I had after I moved out to Utah at age 18. He was very nice, and funny, and cool, and obviously had awesome taste in music and a really cool volvo (or maybe it was a volkswagen). I don't remember what kind it was now, but it was hip, that's for sure. I took a long time to figure out that he was a little friendlier than most home teachers; he remembered when I had days off from school and would bring me burned copies of the latest and greatest music artists he had discovered, and he always came to teach me by himself...I thought it was because his companion was a lame-o, but now I'm starting to wonder if Darrin ever even called him. At any rate, this was another time that it took me a while to appreciate cool music. This album also reminds me of Summer Myers, because her and I stayed up late one night just listening to the whole thing about 1 1/2 years later...and it felt surreal. And I loved it. It is still one of my favorite albums to relax to.

Queen Don't Stop Me Now, Duran Duran Victim of Love, and Madonna Lucky Star remind me of Rachel Barlow Hart; Rachel is someone who I can listen to music with anytime, anywhere. Her musical influences are completely different than mine (her folks are ten years younger than mine and raised her on led zeppelin and the rolling stones; mine raised me on billy joel and...well, really a bunch of very random stuff) so it is fun to share our music with one another. Being her roommate was one of the best times of my life. Musical and otherwise.

Yellowcard Breathing reminds me of Nate Luman; a whole big group of us went to see Yellowcard perform at a tiny little club in Portland when I was a senior in HS. I guess the boys (Carl, Danny, Nate, and Brett) had gone earlier to Borders to meet the group in person, and have a cd signed or something, and Nate mentioned that he could play the violin part on Breathing; he had been practicing like crazy. So at the show, the very last song they played was that one and we all watched in awe as they invited Nate on stage with them and he took that white, electric violin and jammed with Yellowcard. I had never known anyone cooler in that moment. Also, it was my first real concert-in-a-club experience, and I would remark afterward how we all looked as if we'd jumped into a swimming pool with our clothes on. Sweh-tee.

Outkast Hey Ya reminds me of Freyja; this song was constantly on the radio the year I moved to Utah. Freyja was a great older sister during those first couple of years; she'd drive me around to run errands, set me up on numerous blind dates, and take me along to parties and ward socials with her. She mentioned one time when Hey Ya came on the radio in her car that she had finally found a song she could sing her name to. Instead of "Hey ya" she just inserted "Frey-ja". Hahah.

U2 With or Without You reminds me of Dave Westhora; during high school we went to see a battle of the bands somewhere downtown, because our friends in the group Homemade (Dave, Brett and Cameron) were competing. After their initial song "Your Mom is Hot", Dave took the stage solo and sang With or Without You to serenade his girlfriend Jill. He was leaving on his mission soon and we all felt that his song choice was a good one considering the circumstances. His voice was rocking, Jill was swooning (as was every girl in the room), and...the guys were swooning too for that matter. Guy crushes are nothing to be ashamed of. Now that Jill and Dave are happily married with two children, I still think it was that last act of affection before he went away for two years that sealed the deal. Jill found herself a real man. A man so unashamed of his love for her, that had the whole world been watching, he still would have sung.

Eagles Take It Easy reminds me of Brian Barlow; I had heard this song about a billion times in my life before I heard Brian sing it at the Barlow family retreat in Wyoming last July 4th. But it wasn't until he sang the line, "I'm lookin' for a lover who won't blow my cover; she's so hard to find" that I really felt the depth of the lyrics. I love this song now. Brian, you are a true artist. I hope you find her someday.

I have a quite a few more examples, but perhaps I will save them for another post, another time.

Here's to discovering good music and making memories in the process.

11/16 Across

That's alright, Elvis.

Knife flat floaters

when said three times.

The merciful and

the compassionate

laugh uproariously.

Brighter than bright,

Like the word 'dinner'.

A mildly poindexter-type

guarantee.

Alternative way to

proceed your request?

Pay from the

refrigerator!

One of the

Fitzgeralds wrote

melodies sweet;

But u are sweeter.

Medieval TV show

set William McKinley

to grin.

High, Swiss novelist Philip,

on the author boogie.

Cherry Plum Italian

wine;

Rambling Rose.

11/30 Down

Must something be thrown

for top capacity?

Contribute to the

impurity state in

Tijuana.

Handy IDs in the hood

unwanted.

Kind terrier slows down

traffic by stairs.

1,000-foot state line

many miles away,

with a 180 apple

offering zoo keeper.

Noodle over the number

of people in a room.

Numbered in the

friendly introductions.

Faster!

Bring in Gerald Ford.

Muslim Mystic, Theodore Roosevelt,

Man of many words.

Press briefly

bowling alley button.

On to

"There is no team!"

Name in govt. records

for short,

"Whiz" Jennings.

Update on my life

Well...I'm not going to start off this post with how neglectful I have been of my blogging duties lately because (a) I hate reading other people's blogs, only to have every other post begin with the words "Sorry, it has been such a long time since I've posted!", (b)I know you have so many other blogs and pinterest-y things you subscribe to that you don't notice how seldom I update this one, and (c) I do not feel that blogging should be considered a "duty" at all. There. No apologies.

I am going to graduate from BYU very soon. Like less-than-two-weeks soon. I think this is the sort of thing that usually causes single girls to have anxiety attacks and mid-twenties life-crises. Which is why I feel almost completely justified in my slight anxiety about my life plan. The 'almost' is thrown in that last sentence, because, well, I never really like to feel like I'm following the crowd, so it adds back into the equation a smidgen of the unjustified feelings that being 'normal' just eradicated.

That being said, I am also quite happy with the progress I have made during my time in college, and am happy with who I am as a person. I am 26. I feel like I'm 26. That is a good thing. I often am mistaken for a 20 yr old...but I can deal with that, so long as I know the person is judging me based on my looks and not my intelligence. The thing that makes me happiest about my college experience is that I did many things to intentionally challenge myself. Being a woman in the business school at BYU was not always a comfortable or an easy endeavor. I can honestly say that I felt out of place at least once a day (but usually far more often than that) as I walked the halls and sat in the classrooms among many, many men. By the end of my time here I have simply learned that great things come to though who know how to fake it. :) And, that I did...until it almost doesn't feel like faking anymore! I had a class last winter semester with roughly 35 men as my classmates. No other women. And I held my own. I will not say that the program or my colleagues, or my professors ever really made me feel inadequate or inept. Rather, the opposite is quite true; they were at time my biggest supporters and cheerleaders. (Insert funny mental image of all my classmates in their business attire... with pom-pom's and big letter signs that spell my name in glitter puff-paints) It was me who held me back during those times I was too scared to voice an idea or opinion, and it was always me who assumed that everyone was judging me for being a "hairstylist". It was in this last semester of college that I really tried to shake things up and find that lost courage I knew was inside me somewhere. I opted out of joining a group that will definitely get an "A", in order to be a leader in a group that might only get a "B", all because I knew I wanted to have my opinions heard and see what my ideas could create.

When I decided to choose a business-related major, it was because I saw a hint of leadership potential in myself, and perhaps other traits and talents that could be strengthened along the way...but it was also because I knew I was scared of entering"The Business World." What if they saw right through me, and realized I wasn't someone who liked to check the top stories in the Wall-Street Journal every morning, or that I don't care about a stock portfolio and can't even envision myself at some networking event in a pants-suit?! But because I was scared to do it, I knew I needed to. I live according to the motto, "Make a decision, then make it a good one." It's what got me through beauty school, and it definitely helped me get through BYU. It has also helped me in tough relationships with roommates and also in ward callings, etc. I think one day it might help me out in marriage. Who knows?

I am rambling a bit here. Can you tell I'm not a "journaler"?

The point is, yes; I am scared of what the future holds, and I hate it when people ask me what I'm doing next. I feel like I'm disappointing everyone because I'm not moving on to some executive position at the next Omniture-type company. But I am content to work as a hairstylist for now, and save up some much-needed money, and slowly make plans to create my own salon. No; it isn't the next Netflix or Skull-Candy...but I don't want one of those. I want to create something that is beautiful to me and I want to take my time in doing it. I want to challenge myself and work hard, and I want to support myself. If I can do good along the way; make friends, give to people in need, be the best darn employer in the history of hair salons, and go out to eat at restaurants every once in awhile...then I'm happy. I'm so happy.

That's the point.

11/21 Across

Welcome to the first installment of "Crossword Clue Poems". I finished the crossword puzzle much too early today for my liking. Usually I like to have them drag on a bit so that they can keep me occupied through at least my first class of the day...but today I was campus far too early for a group project meeting, and now I'm sitting in the first hour of a class on macro-economics and the financial crisis with nothing to do! So, naturally I figured out another way to pass the time, and created a poem by blacking out strategic words on the crossword clues. The poem below is from the Nov. 21st crossword in the Daily Universe, and is comprised solely of the Across Clues (hence the title of this post).

So, without further ado;

Fateful day for

all dance party;

Laboratory maze runners

completely confused.

The "E" in treat

sluggish from sedatives.

Catch Groucho

while blues play.

18 chaotic battles-

Farewell.

Falafel cereal

doesn't taste like

anything.

Period of 1930's-40's

beyond repair.

Expected Islamic decree

that can't sit still

dances to

Hawaiian music.

Astronaut Armstrong

emergency signals

new program paid by

white workers.

Formal wear for Cupid,

an electric fabric

that's glossy on one side.

Feudin' with June left

numbers to be crunched.

(Hopefully these will become better with time.)

(Hopefully.)